Why am I different?


Mists and clouds were all around. Life didn’t seem to be awake even as the sun kissed and warmed up the land. Excitement was all around my college compound as the tradition of students going out for “dates” was on air (some went for blind dates and some with their preferred ones).

A friend of mine had secretly fixed a date for me without my approval. I had no clue until that final day (one of the Saturdays). After my famous “Shercol SUPW” I was preparing my bed for a nap. A boy comes in to DH I room no: 4 and knocks “ToK ToK”! Push!! I shouted, and then a tall and handsome boy walks in.  In a very low tone, he began; “a girl is waiting for you”. Bright smile on his face indicated that he was much happier than I was supposed to be. Who and why would a girl want to see me? I asked; but he just gave a spiky smile. I explained to him that my nap was more important than meeting a girl (I don’t believe it now that I felt that way then). Politely he began, you had asked for a date out and a first year girl is waiting for you at MPH (Mother Peter’s Hall— not Miles per hour). WHAT !!! I asked for a date !!! You got to be kidding and fooling me. I never thought of dating a girl (I mean then—not now hehehe). And never did I ask any one to fix one. But a girl is waiting for you wai, he mutters. Tall boy began more cautiously, looking around within the walls of my plain room; he began rubbing his hands, lifted his eye brows in confidence and said: “if you don’t go and meet that girl, it would mean an insult and a symbol of insolence on your part. Whatever, please go and date her”, a father like advice, he gives me and walks out.

As usual, things don’t happen to me as I feel, wish and hope it should. In the book of my life’s principles and morals, I had to strike out a line with a very heavy heart. I had to walk on the edge of a knife: if I didn’t meet the girl, it might indicate an insult, but to meet her; I was still not convinced because I never wished for a date (I had never requested any one to fix one for me). Sluggishly, I decided to break the rule make some one happy.

I walked down hill along the pines and the gushing waters (through the pipes). Jackals like collegians howled. Blood rushed and my face blushed. Journey from DH I to MPH seemed too long which otherwise on my way to eating (dinning hall) used to be easy and short. Girls didn’t spare shouting at me (probably I was never expected to be coming to get a girl at MPH that day). MPH councilor (my friend—seem to have been the match maker), calls out the girl. On seeing the girl, I felt like Alice in wonderland. She was so shy, small and probably traumatized of the “College seniors insulting behaviors”. She would have felt being “ragged”. I know, most often, senior girls in college rag the fresher in the form of forceful dates”. Innocent face, shy and blushing color of her cheeks indicated to me that she could have been forced to date out. With much difficulty, I spoke these lines: “Please feel comfortable and please be frank. I am sure you must have been forced by seniors, were you? Just be honest and frank”. No word came from the other side. Only few steps we did walk. And an intimidated face I could see. Huge groups of noisy Sherubtseans waits ahead. Once again I tried getting her honest answer and genuine feelings. I asked again if she was forced and told her to be utterly honest—“it doesn’t matter to me as a senior. I don’t like the concept of forcing any one in to anything”, I assured her and finally, in a very feeble voice, she expressed she was forced for the date out. I asked her if she wants to continue going with me or going back to her hostel room. She preferred the newly allocated four walls of her MPH room. I assured her safety and offered to dine together before she gets back to her room but she chose to sob back in her room. Our date ended within 5 minutes (Meritocean, may be mine was shorter than yours, mangi mo?). It was a different date—altogether.

Night came in….. Music(s) of all kinds on full volume floated in the air. Everyone, dressed in their best wears got down to the Jam session hall. Friends dragged me in but I was not very much in to it. I sat outside, gazing at the stars, feeling the breeze, easing my heart. Hearing the howls of humanity……………………………………..

I question myself: Why am I different?

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